Family: Your Biggest Supporters or Biggest Haters?

Dear Readers!! I hope you had an amazing and productive weekend:)

When we talk about family, we often imagine a built-in support system—people who love us unconditionally and cheer us on through life’s ups and downs. But the truth is, not every family member plays that role. Some of the closest people to us can end up being our biggest critics, and sadly, in some cases, our biggest haters. 

I’ve come to realise this harsh truth through my own experiences. While many of us expect encouragement and positivity from those we share blood with, reality sometimes serves us a different dish—a cold, hard realisation that not everyone in your family wants to see you win. In fact, some might quietly (or not so quietly) revel in your failures.Let’s start with what we all hope for when it comes to family: support, love, and encouragement. The family is supposed to provide a safe space for us, where we can share our dreams and ambitions without judgment. Ideally, when you achieve something—whether it’s landing a new job, launching a business, or even making a small personal breakthrough—your family should be the ones cheering the loudest.Families, particularly older generations, often have life lessons and wisdom to share. When given in the right spirit, this advice can help you avoid pitfalls and make better decisions.

  But while this is what many of us hope for, it’s not always the reality.Unfortunately, not every family member is rooting for you. Some of us, myself included, have experienced this firsthand.Sometimes, what looks like concern is really just jealousy. Certain family members may undermine your achievements or dreams, masking their envy with phrases like "Are you sure that’s a good idea?" or "That seems risky." One of the most frustrating things I’ve experienced is when family members downplay my achievements. It’s as though no matter how hard I work or what I accomplish, it’s never quite "enough" for them. A family member might not openly criticise you, but they’ll throw shade in ways that are subtle yet painful. Comments that seem innocent but are laced with bitterness, or unsolicited "advice" that feels more like a warning not to succeed.

It took me a while to spot the signs of low-key hating in my family, but once you become aware, it’s impossible to unsee it. Here’s how I learned to recognise them: Instead of being genuinely happy for you, some family members will offer praise that feels more like an insult. "Wow, you got that promotion? I didn’t think they promoted people so quickly in your field."These family members are always comparing you to others in the family or even people you don’t know. No matter what you do, it’s never good enough. "Well, your cousin is making six figures now, but good for you!" When you’re working on a new project or reaching a milestone, you’d expect your family to ask questions and be genuinely interested. But some just don’t care—or worse, they go out of their way to avoid talking about your achievements.

So, what can you do when you realise that some of your family members are not in your corner? It’s not easy, but I’ve found a few ways to cope: It’s essential to protect your mental and emotional space. If someone consistently brings negativity, it’s okay to distance yourself. You don’t have to cut them off entirely, but limiting your exposure can save you a lot of stress. Just because certain family members don’t support you doesn’t mean you’re alone. Seek out the ones who do root for you, whether they’re family or friends. These are the people who genuinely want to see you succeed.This is probably the hardest part, but often, their negativity says more about them than it does about you. Jealousy and insecurity are usually at the root of the hate, and it’s their problem to deal with, not yours.In the end, the best way to deal with family haters is to keep doing your thing. Your success will speak for itself, and whether or not they choose to acknowledge it, your hard work will pay off. Coming to terms with the fact that not all family members are supportive can be tough. It’s a painful realisation when the people you thought would always have your back end up being the ones who quietly root for your downfall. But ultimately, you have to remind yourself that their opinions don’t define you. Family or not, the most important thing is to focus on your journey, your growth, and your happiness. Not everyone is going to understand your path, and that’s okay. Let the haters hate—because at the end of the day, your success is yours alone.

Family dynamics can be complicated, and not everyone will be in your corner, no matter how much you wish they would. While some family members may be your biggest supporters, others may turn out to be your biggest haters. For me, recognising who was genuinely in my corner and who wasn’t has been a crucial step in my personal and professional growth;) Remember, it’s your life to live. Surround yourself with people who uplift you, and don’t let the naysayers—family or otherwise—hold you back.